Venting, Anger and Rage

Thought of this today after I had my 4 and a half hour Biochem lab.


Now the lab itself was enough to make me feel like raging, but to top it off there was this one guy next to me and my lab partner who would not shut up. He would go up to us repeatedly, invade our work area, for no reason, then say "Hey wouldn't it be funny if I sabotaged your experiment?". He said this atleast 20 times during over the course of the experiment and every time either me or my lab partner would walk by he;d say sabotage. We was trying to funny, but he was just incredibly annoying. By the end, when I was really tired and frustrated it took a lot for me not to turn around and tell him to shut up and stop being annoying. My friend was rather annoyed to. He later said he wanted to knock his lights out. While I would want to fight someone over them being annoying, I did juts want to go off at him and to stop acting like a moron. His disruptions probably cost us 30 minutes of time in total.

After the experiment was over, I was incredibly annoyed and I needed to chill out, so as I was driving home I put in my "mellow music" cd. Just a cd of relaxed, calming music.

By the time I got home I for the most part was settled down.

Just made me curious.

What do you do when you are incredibly frustrated or angry? If you are angry at a person do you go off at them, or remain reserved and keep your anger at them to yourself? and when you need to vent or chill out after being angry and annoyed, what do you do?


As I said, just before, calming music helps alot, but also having something to eat that I like or having a shower helps calm my nerves as well.

As for whether I go off at people when I'm angry at them, not really. I'm not someone who typically explodes at people. If I'm annoyed I will say why I am annoyed, but I won't act angry. Basically the only person who can make me fly off the handles is my brother. He just has a way of infuriating me.

While it is pretty unhealthy, I bottle it up and remain quiet. The most you'd see from me is a dirty look, either avoiding eye contact or staring intimidatingly, and sometimes taking deep breaths. My heart tends to race and I shake a little if I get really aggravated, so I need to take my breaths.

I used to be very violent, and fight every day, be it playful or aggressive. When I realized I was possibly hurting my friends in a playful manner, I tried to suppress it. It's escalated to barely reacting at all.

Still... in the times I do react, or feel I MUST vent it out, it's usually aggressive arguing. Nidking has seen it. Another is, recently, I grabbed hold of Jakub and threw him to the ground, despite being much bigger than me, before leaving them. It attracted some unwanted attention.

SuperLoki wrote:Still... in the times I do react, or feel I MUST vent it out, it's usually aggressive arguing. Nidking has seen it. Another is, recently, I grabbed hold of Jakub and threw him to the ground, despite being much bigger than me, before leaving them. It attracted some unwanted attention.

Half my respect for you comes from the fact you will take nonsense from no one, and will scare people if necessary to assert yourself. That time at the DAC was you at your best.

None of you have seen me get truly furious. You have seen me angered, but not explosively enraged. Pray that you never do.

I'm generally very controlled, and my anger will only be released if you push my triggers too far. It's at that point you deserve what happens to you. When I'm enraged, I cannot be intimidated. No matter how big you think you may be in sending me beserk, you will later find yourself on the floor- conscious or otherwise. Even if you are too much for me alone, in my rage I become a bit of a pragmatist. I might not be able to punish you, but I bet Taldar can.

Essentially, getting me angry is nearly impossible unless you know my triggers, which a lot of you do. (But I trust you.) When you do get me enraged, I throw everything at you until you are out of my sight.

Don't worry, I jest about the Taldar bit. Much as it would be funny to send a Tiger after someone, I love Taldar too much to waste his precious energy on fools.

Tyranidking wrote:

SuperLoki wrote:Still... in the times I do react, or feel I MUST vent it out, it's usually aggressive arguing. Nidking has seen it. Another is, recently, I grabbed hold of Jakub and threw him to the ground, despite being much bigger than me, before leaving them. It attracted some unwanted attention.

Half my respect for you comes from the fact you will take nonsense from no one, and will scare people if necessary to assert yourself. That time at the DAC was you at your best.

None of you have seen me get truly furious. You have seen me angered, but not explosively enraged. Pray that you never do.

I'm generally very controlled, and my anger will only be released if you push my triggers too far. It's at that point you deserve what happens to you. When I'm enraged, I cannot be intimidated. No matter how big you think you may be in sending me beserk, you will later find yourself on the floor- conscious or otherwise. Even if you are too much for me alone, in my rage I become a bit of a pragmatist. I might not be able to punish you, but I bet Taldar can.

Essentially, getting me angry is nearly impossible unless you know my triggers, which a lot of you do. (But I trust you.) When you do get me enraged, I throw everything at you until you are out of my sight.

Don't worry, I jest about the Taldar bit. Much as it would be funny to send a Tiger after someone, I love Taldar too much to waste his precious energy on fools.

Uh... Erm... Eh... You're ugly! :V

Nah, kidding. I'm good at suppressing my anger and just walk away, laughing at their stupidity.
Besides. I have two swords and a good selection of kitchen knives to choose from. =3

StinkyPachem wrote:

Tyranidking wrote:

Half my respect for you comes from the fact you will take nonsense from no one, and will scare people if necessary to assert yourself. That time at the DAC was you at your best.

None of you have seen me get truly furious. You have seen me angered, but not explosively enraged. Pray that you never do.

I'm generally very controlled, and my anger will only be released if you push my triggers too far. It's at that point you deserve what happens to you. When I'm enraged, I cannot be intimidated. No matter how big you think you may be in sending me beserk, you will later find yourself on the floor- conscious or otherwise. Even if you are too much for me alone, in my rage I become a bit of a pragmatist. I might not be able to punish you, but I bet Taldar can.

Essentially, getting me angry is nearly impossible unless you know my triggers, which a lot of you do. (But I trust you.) When you do get me enraged, I throw everything at you until you are out of my sight.

Don't worry, I jest about the Taldar bit. Much as it would be funny to send a Tiger after someone, I love Taldar too much to waste his precious energy on fools.

Uh... Erm... Eh... You're ugly! :V

Nah, kidding. I'm good at suppressing my anger and just walk away, laughing at their stupidity.
Besides. I have two swords and a good selection of kitchen knives to choose from. =3

a....a...fellow sword collector?

This day is beautiful :3

(PM me types of sword pweeease :3)

It may not seem like it on the internet (it is hard to tell emotions) but I have a REALLY short fuse. I can get explosive REALLY easily if someone gets to my one weakness, which is my family. Someone at school nearly came on the receiving end of my cricket bat when they said something I shalln't repeat, and it REALLY annoys me when I look back at how quickly I can snap.

In situations when I'm annoyed, I can get pretty blunt A guy came up to me in form time last year and said, [sarcasm]creatively[/sarcasm] "you're gay". He caught me at an off time, and I just told him to "F*** yourself, d*****bag".

Anyone have any tips as to avoid anger like that or suppressing it/not reacting?

That's one part of my character I try my best to hide on here. I never want to snap on here, because I know on the internet I could be worse.

MarkyDMan wrote:
Anyone have any tips as to avoid anger like that or suppressing it/not reacting?

Try to see things from a different perspective. Ask yourself this, especially when people say bad stuff about your family:

Is it true what they are saying?

Of course it´s not. So why would you spend your precious life worrying about someone who is telling lies only to anger you? Ignore them because they don´t deserve anything else.

Hmm, I think Im similar to becca in that I suppress my anger, which is obviously alot more hurtful to myself than letting it go. Im generally a very easy going person, I can walk away from most things, even when I'm at the point of shaking with anger. I prefer to think things over on my own and then decide how best to deal with them.

I've only lost my temper properly maybe two or three times. I tend to react in an angrily calm way. Its odd, I don't even think about it really, which is a little worrying somtimes seeing as I ignore the strength Im putting into it, be it physical or verbal.

As for calming myself down, I listen to music, go for a walk with my dog or do art. Any of those helps to make me think things through.

MarkyDMan wrote:It may not seem like it on the internet (it is hard to tell emotions) but I have a REALLY short fuse. I can get explosive REALLY easily if someone gets to my one weakness, which is my family. Someone at school nearly came on the receiving end of my cricket bat when they said something I shalln't repeat, and it REALLY annoys me when I look back at how quickly I can snap.

In situations when I'm annoyed, I can get pretty blunt A guy came up to me in form time last year and said, [sarcasm]creatively[/sarcasm] "you're gay". He caught me at an off time, and I just told him to "F*** yourself, d*****bag".

Anyone have any tips as to avoid anger like that or suppressing it/not reacting?

That's one part of my character I try my best to hide on here. I never want to snap on here, because I know on the internet I could be worse.

I agree with Ark, when it comes to stupid comments about your family or you, ask yourself if its true. Its easier to do that when something is said against you rather than family, as no one likes to hear someone disrespect their family, truth or not. But as best you can, just try to think whether what they say is the truth, which most likely they aren't, so getting angry at them won't lead down a positive road.


@Rebecca and Red. I used to sort of bottle things up, but it caused me to become very angry as a person as every time I got angry at something else, I would only be reminded of other things that made me angry. I try not to now, I just try to keep my cool about it, calm down, then later think about what made me angry, why it made me angry and whether its worth being angry at.

Probably the hardest ones to accept are the ones where I came down, look at the situation, look at it logical and see I was in the wrong. When your angry, its harder to see when you are at fault of something.

I generally don't think about it when I'm angry. It's just, I'm angry. That's that. And I try not to show it. I try to calm myself in the process, but simply with time and nothing else. Sometimes I read a book or play a game or do anything that can distract me. I've got no single solution, and I can't help it either.

I am a pretty calm and zen person normally. Though sometimes I have been violent. This has resulted in broken walls and doors in MST's house

I am a much calmer and less violent individual now, and I put this down to age. Some people here have seen me rant (the moderators), and I am a big ranter, but I generally rant at myself rather than letting those around me.

If I seriously need to let off steam I just load up a computer game and shoot stuff.

I used to have anger problems - mine focused around being challenged; such as being asked 'Why didn't you do that?', at which point I'd just explode without even thinking about it. I'd yell profanities like no tomorrow for about a minute before I finally got control of myself - at which point I would feel disgusted at losing control. But I couldn't stop myself - it just happened before I could even consider what I was doing. Even more annoying for me was when I was berated for making a mistake - when someone told me 'Why did you do that?' or 'I told you so?', at which point I would go ballistic. I soon became disgusted with how easily I lost control over trivial little things.

Everyone hates their family being insulted...I remember a few fights from my youth revolving around that - from both sides.

There were several ways I eventually controlled it. First, just taking a deep breath helps to steady your thoughts and helps prevent you from flipping out. When someone insults you or your family, I gained control over my anger there by thinking that they're ultimately just after a reaction, and if you deny that of them, they get bored. Also, their insults towards your family are often borne out of their own insecurities. Furthermore, when you manage to keep control in scenarios like this, you can feel proud of yourself, for you have the mental capacity that they lack. When it came to being challenged, I actually found joining the Debating Club helped solve that. There I had to lay out my argument in an elegant and powerful manner and then defend it in the same against others, whilst also trying to undermine them. It helped to make me see things in a clearer light rather than through the red mist that used to descend. Also, I think that some of it just went with age, to be honest. You learn to take control better as you get older.

Of course, everyone loses control eventually. I still find that I can quite easily lose it when I'm asked the same question that I deem to be either obvious or irrelevant over and over again.

Vek you still ow me for the hole in the cellar So yes people hes back and Vek is a home wrecking maniac of a Deplodicus and this is his BFF speaking LOL

as to my temperament i am a pacifist w a vocally aggressive side well i am now but in youth i was a bullyd sprog who answered it with a fist and there broken fingers as a prize

Weclome Back MST

And good advice their Thomas.

Metal Tech, welcome back

So is Vektrix a secret terminator from the future or what?

To quote Chaucer: "Experience is simply what we call our past mistakes."

I hope my experience (and so, my mistakes) can aid others in dealing with their anger. If anyone wants to discuss it further with me, feel free to PM me. I'll be happy to help, should you wish it.

Arkanay wrote:
So is Vektrix a secret terminator from the future or what?

no hes more or what as in a mental cased Raptor who like Adrian Mole thinks hes a intellectual but Stephen Fry hes not hes more like General Meltchett in Blackadder And Arnold Judas Rimmer in Red Dwarf

I am generally quite able to shrug off most annoyances and keep myself from getting too outwardly angry. It's quite hard to set me off, though it has been done in the past.

Rage is something I sometimes struggle with, and it can build up through my own thoughts and interactions concerning myself, others, and the world. There are some things I cannot control, accept, or reconcile. And these are some of the things that eat at me, little by little.

As far as venting goes, there are many ways to let of a little pressure at a time. Team based online games (often accompanied by some salty language over voice chat), creating things (drawing, Spore, and so forth), good music, interacting with a close friend... All of these things can help.

Ultimately though, it's the self that is in control of its own reality. You must change to change your world.

*Is momentarily clapping at above speech*

Im usually pretty chilled (in the hyper kinda sense) but if i get SPORE off its hard not to notice. My fuse is also kinda short, which helps keeps the apprentices at work in check but can also mean in extremely destructive. For example I kicked a hole in one of the doors at work the other day, which resulted in an equally angry boss.

In terms of bottling it up, seeing as how easy to get me SPORE off, if i did bottle it up i would probably combust pretty fast.

But yeah, in terms of calming down, breaking stuff is the way to go for me. I find it hard to be constructive when angry.

Vereor wrote:Im usually pretty chilled (in the hyper kinda sense) but if i get SPORE off its hard not to notice. My fuse is also kinda short, which helps keeps the apprentices at work in check but can also mean in extremely destructive. For example I kicked a hole in one of the doors at work the other day, which resulted in an equally angry boss.

Extreme Do you have to pay for the door?

I don't really have that short of a fuse (either something has to annoy me for a while or be extremely annoying for me to get angry) and I don't normally display my anger through actions, though I used to. The only thing I ever did like that was put my first through a thin plasterboard wall (I think it was plasterboard). I can't even remember what made me angry enough to do it.

I dont' think I've ever destroyed anything through anger. I bottle stuff up, although thats not good either.

When I was little I used to get real bad tempers, I'd hit and bite and scream, or even hold my breath to get my own way, what a brat (it never got me very far though lol). I wonder if people with bad tempers as children are more calm as older people or adults? Maybe it really is just a maturity issue though

Red-Indigo wrote: I dont' think I've ever destroyed anything through anger. I bottle stuff up, although thats not good either.

When I was little I used to get real bad tempers, I'd hit and bite and scream, or even hold my breath to get my own way, what a brat (it never got me very far though lol). I wonder if people with bad tempers as children are more calm as older people or adults? Maybe it really is just a maturity issue though

Sound like a typical child to me I used to throw the off temper tantrum when I was a kid. Especially when me and my brother argued over who got to sit in the front seat of the car when we were driving to school, though I had a good point, "It was my turn to sit in the front because he sat in the front two times in a row! "

LordRemington wrote:

Red-Indigo wrote: I dont' think I've ever destroyed anything through anger. I bottle stuff up, although thats not good either.

When I was little I used to get real bad tempers, I'd hit and bite and scream, or even hold my breath to get my own way, what a brat (it never got me very far though lol). I wonder if people with bad tempers as children are more calm as older people or adults? Maybe it really is just a maturity issue though

Sound like a typical child to me I used to throw the off temper tantrum when I was a kid. Especially when me and my brother argued over who got to sit in the front seat of the car when we were driving to school, though I had a good point, "It was my turn to sit in the front because he sat in the front two times in a row! "

Yeah, I guess, but I was really nasty, I bit my mum so hard her arm came up all purple My little sister was never that naughty, but she gts pretty grumpy now.

And that is a very valid point, it's mean, depriving a young child from his shotgun position

Red-Indigo wrote:

Yeah, I guess, but I was really nasty, I bit my mum so hard her arm came up all purple My little sister was never that naughty, but she gts pretty grumpy now.

And that is a very valid point, it's mean, depriving a young child from his shotgun position

Well at least that behaviour didn't move on with you into your teenage years and adulthood. Some kids never let go of that behaviour. I never attacked my mum, but I did battle with my brother many times and did have the off scrap with a school chum over incredibly pointless things such as who's turn it was to use the Tonka truck.

And thank you, it was only logical. He got 2 rides in front, because I was a nice brother, but I deserved to have two rides in front then.